Darwin Awards 2003
First, the honorable mentions:
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and,
after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The
company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have
a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim
was approved.
*
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
*
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that
the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway
had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby
bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.
*
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries,
the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his
head to a moving train before he was hit.
*
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on
the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? 15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)
*
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So
he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
*
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse
and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a
detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the
snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
*
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in
Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk
turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a
food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
*
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain
from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the
front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck.
Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the
machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's
license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.
*
And
now...
First Place - The 2003 Darwin Award Winner:
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger
again. This time it worked.....
6-27-06
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